Montréal

The girl manning the customs and immigration checkpoint looked as though she was still in college. When she saw that we’d visited Canada before but had nevertheless decided to visit again, she was ecstatic, and gave us loads of maps and brochures and discount cards.

She also seemed really excited that we were going to be arriving in the middle of St Jean Baptiste day, when the Québecois celebrate the founding of Québec. She didn’t mention that there have been nationalist riots in previous years. I suppose that just adds to the excitement.

I spent an entire day in Montreal with Visage’s Fade to Grey stuck in my head. This was for three reasons:

1. The hotel room was right next to the elevator shaft, and the motor made a noise like the rising synth boing that appears at several points in the song after the line “We fade to grey”.
2. The song is partly in English and partly in French, rather like Montreal.
3. I had watched The Teletubbies that morning on Canadian TV, and this had reminded me of the fact that a few months ago Steve Strange of Visage was convicted of shoplifting a Teletubby.

This is all true, even the last bit.

I noticed that the Fruitopia drink “Tangerine Wavelength” had been translated into French as “Tangerine Frequency”.

I immediately thought that this must mean someone had managed to measure the speed of tangerine.

The local delicacy is fève aux lard.

Fève is broad beans, which have always been my #1 least favorite vegetable.

Lard is lard.

Clearly some strange new usage of the word “delicacy” etc etc.

The people of Montréal drive like the French.

For Americans, think “Boston drivers at double or triple the speed.”

Canadians in Vancouver drive like lunatics as well; I think if I get one more data point from Toronto I’ll be ready to draw a more general conclusion.